Gym always sounded glamorous. ‘I go to the gym everyday’. How fashionable does it sound!
So, I finally joined the gym, which is right opposite my society and force myself to go there regularly.
I am the thinnest person there.
I am also underweight, low on BMI and muscle.
The ladies in their 40’s stare at me doing stuff.
There are some cute trainers but I feel intimidated by them.
Though initially I felt glad that I was the slimmest person around and used to sashay around the gym, I feel embarrassed when my arms look like sticks when I lift 2.5 kg (yes, 2.5 kg) weights.
When they make me pull and push all kinds of weights on those scary looking machines, I think joining the gym was not really a good idea.
They also hold aerobics sometimes, which I find more interesting that lifting weights but I am refused entry there because ‘you don’t need so much cardio since you are already…skinny’ (indicated by shaking a finger in air).
My workout schedule begins with the Treadmill, ends with the R Bike and consists of crunches, free weights and machines weights in between. By the time I near the end of the schedule, I am almost dragging myself to and on the R-bike and feel I can fall off anytime.
At times I feel awkward because I am sure I look very funny doing all those crunches and weights.
When I’m about to enter the gym, I take each step slowly, perform the actions of wearing my shoes slowly, hence delaying the act of entering into the main gym area and all the time, a voice screams inside my head – TURN BACK!! RUN!
There is a ‘macho’ guy, whom I find quite irritating, who lifts 80 kg and all with lots of noisy pomp that would divert the crowd’s attention to him.
I may try and postpone going to the gym but once there I enjoy the time there.
I like it better if any of the trainers in friendly and chatty with me. I feel less conscious.
The cute trainer, ‘I’ wasn’t pleased when I told him that I eat lots of chips, biscuits and chocolates and still don’t put on weight. ‘Ma’am (despite me telling him many times to call me by name), all that is just fat. You eat all this and then don’t feel hungry enough for proper food’.
I secretly hope I’ll make some friends there.