I wrote about my 10 secrets (no longer secrets, though) and 9 loves, which was super fun. For a self centred person like me, writing about my own self is way better and more exciting than any other thing! Writing about these things has not been difficult as such but it did make me sit back and ponder about why something was a big fear for me or why I loved something with all my heart. Sometimes, gives a sudden, unexplored insight about my own self!
1. Losing all my money: How profane does it sound! But it is true and it is a reality in today’s world. Since I started working, I have had the biggest power in my hand in the form of my debit card. Always blessed with a reasonable (and often high) amount of bank balance, I have been empowered to buy anything, anywhere, anytime, with no restrictions. And whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop! I have not only been able to make myself happy with all the things I bought for myself but also glowed with happiness when my loved ones liked the gifts I showered on them. And so, I would feel totally lost and scared without my money.
2. Being alone in the house: My preposterous mind is capable of imagining everything from animals to ghosts to rapists hiding in the various corners of any house / room I’m staying alone in. It was difficult to fall asleep when I was alone in the hotel room in Europe or the guest house room in Baroda or my house here.
3. Road journeys: Especially during the night. I never think I will be finishing off alive. Night road journeys increase my stress levels to dangerous levels and I think one day I’ll die only of fright.
4. Being stuck in a loveless marriage: Ok, so it’s quite clear by now that I will be getting married through the traditional arranged marriage process, in which I don’t have any faith. So though I have slight hopes hidden somewhere, the very thought of being stuck in a loveless, suffocating marriage scares me to death.
5. Cold: I am not really afraid of the cold but I dread it. I cannot stand cold. Every time I plan to go out for a movie or to a restaurant, I have to prepare myself for the expected cold and arm myself with some warm clothing.
6. Losing my loved ones:My best friends and close family members. I have been lucky to always have them around me at my disposal. I can’t imagine a life without them. There was a time when I was a loner and I enjoyed that state. No longer. Today, I like to be surrounded by people I like and be connected with them all the time through some or the other mode.
7. Losing hair:My hair have already thinned over last 5-6 years. And I am quite conscious of the fact. Every time a hair falls, I shudder and think of the worst, undesirable possible future.
8. Turning fat: I am slim. I have nice legs. I have lots of shorts, skirts and dresses and I look nice in them. I don’t know what might happen if I gain weight. Not only will I be upset and that I won’t be able to wear my favourite clothes, a part of me will curse me for not able to use them because I have a tendency to get emotionally attached to every non-living thing I own.
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(Coming Up: 7 Wants)