Winds Have Changed Directions

They say marrying late isn’t good. You start loving your freedom too much and domesticating is difficult. That’s what it was for me. after years of running away, making excuses and avoiding driving myself into ‘perceived hell’, I have fallen prey to the marriage bug and life has never been simple since.

I remember those several alliances I rejected quoting reasons like ‘I don’t like his name’ and those I tried giving a chance to. I have been immature and wild. Those poor, unsuspecting men who were looking for a tame woman who would come and cook for them and turn their drab bachelor sheds into warm homes were in for a surprise. This lady here was too fast and wild for them. I distressed them by telling them I couldn’t cook and confused them by telling I wanted to shift careers but didn’t know what. They ultimately ran away thanking their stars for nudging them towards escape before it was too late.

My poor parents fretted and complained every time I scared away another ‘good boy’ (who exactly is a good boy, according to them, I would very much want to know).

The thing was something just did not click with all the specimens I was expected to get together with. They repulsed me. I cringed when they called. I askedthem not to call. I said I preferred to chat online (so that they couldn’t sense my disgust). Moreover, I wasn’t ready. It’s not that it clicked very well with At and I plunged into this web happily. I almost ran away into the safe embrace of my satisfactory single life. Why should I dig my own grave? Then I thought of my parents’ expectations and wondered how long this process would continue if I reject this one alliance too (unless I run away to Nigeria without informing my parents) and said Yes.

There. Chapter closed.

‘The One’. Identified. Trapped.

I told myself, what the hell have you done, invited a storm into your life?! I was in a shock for a week or so. Refused to talk to anyone about it. Over enthusiastic friends and family members wanted to know the what, how and when of the whole story but I was blank. I was getting cold feet. I wanted to turn back time. Spending life with a stranger? This is not 1970!

What if we had been ‘talking’ for the last 3 months? I took it as it came. I did not think it would conclude to us having ‘The Talk’ one day to make THE decision of our lives, ‘The Talk’ is exactly when I wanted the earth to swallow me.

Family and friends were delighted. I am SO happy for you! I heard a hundred times. When will I feel happy for myself, I wondered. Happens, happens! said over-excited aunties; they simply couldn’t control their delight. I don’t think they were empathetic at all. They seemed to have forgotten their own pre-marriage woes. After a while, every time someone congratulated me, I thought they were only sneering at me.

Friends and family counselled and explained to me the brighter side, compelling me to be happy. I realized At was a mature and understanding individual. He had been courteous with my family and friends. My gut feel said he was okay. I had no reason to not like him. And well I have always wanted a life-partner whose name started from A. Moreover, he is taking a bigger risk marrying someone who is so visibly secretive, arrogant and cold. And can’t cook.

So, I have finally embarked on this new bittersweet thorny yet blissful path. It’s all about perception and how well you accept this concept. Ultimately, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

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10 thoughts on “Winds Have Changed Directions

  1. Interesting post.. you know in arranged marriage not finding anything bad enough is good enough to get married..but surprisingly many cases work out fine..

    • This concept is difficult to understand for a first timer. I will only learn by experience I assume. Thank you for your wise words 🙂

  2. Pingback: Hello To Old Me | My bittersweet world

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