Taking One More Tough Step

This is not an easy step; it aggrieves me, and yet this is essential for my life.

No. Too dramatic.

I also thank my colleagues who have been so supportive and helpful and hence made my stay here so memorable.

No. Sounds like a vacation-ending mail.

Never knew typing my resignation letter would be so difficult. Difficult for a person who has seen hundreds of resignation letters being passed around carelessly. Some months and years back, I was waiting for this day – the day when I would type out my own letter and hand over to my boss jubilantly (or throw it on his face with a big smirk on my face). This was the ultimate feeling of liberation I had wished to achieve.

And yet, when the moment came (after I had already delayed it for a month), I felt heavy. I wanted to slap myself hard for even trying to write a resignation letter. This office has been like home – where I had friends who took care of me and I felt comfortable. This is where I learnt to be responsible (and powerful and bossy) and won accolades for it in return. Three years, two promotions, numerous runs to the printer to collect confidential letters, several hours of bitching about seniors and cursing company policies, it is time for me to end it all with a lot of remorse.

After months of shouting myself hoarse about hating Corporate, I am actually cherishing my last few days here. You never know the value of something till it is snatched away from you. I still dislike Corporate but I love the people the work with right now. They are not just colleagues, they are my confidants. They know about little things of my life – maid problem, room-mate problem, family problem, health problem, fears of mind, apprehensions of future, travel plans, shopping plans – they know it all and never hesitate to offer help, advice or protection. With such a team around, I never had to worry about anything; I never had to feel lonely.

I realized that a majority of my closest friends are people I met at work. And they will remain the closest to my heart.

When I joined this organization 3 years back, I had just escaped from a horrible organization. This company was like re-birth for me. Good people, good work culture, good location. I have seen people gaping in admiration when I would reveal my company name. This company made me feel proud about myself. The first year, I just drifted. It was only in the second year that I took on my new role with rigour and dedication. I struggled, fell but never gave up. Incidentally, I had agreed to take up this new role only because I did not want to say No (everyone else had said No). I did curse my luck many times during the next 2 years but I do admit that I turned into a confident lady only because of the excess responsibility I handled. My boss gave me enough authority to go with the responsibility and this made me not just responsible and confident but also powerful and in some way, arrogant.

But believe me, it works in some situations – for example, for the work I do. It is required.

And I enjoyed the power. I would never have been able to handle so many situations and people with poise and self assurance had it not been for the past 2 years. This job has prepared me for life.

They say, only if you let go of something good do you allow something better to come in. Hard to believe right now that there can be anything more comforting and joyful than the safe enclosure of my workplace.

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5 thoughts on “Taking One More Tough Step

  1. Very well expressed. I can 100% relate to it. Have gone through a similar thing before 🙂
    Thank for adding me to your IndiBlogger network.
    I saw your travel blog as well and I just loved it! The Champaner pictures are a treat!
    Keep it up.

    All the best.

    Regards,

    Keyur 🙂

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