I’ve come to eat out alone after ages. I am at The Chocolate Room, waiting for my Dark Hot chocolate. I sat down and placed my order without looking at the menu.
After work today, I rushed to buy gifts for my Besties, got petrol and air filled, did some tailor work and then wondered what to do before my official farewell dinner scheduled at 8 pm. Should I go and finish the other tailor work, or complete some additional minor shopping or go to my cousin’s to kill time?
I was starving. Saturday traffic is at work, going crazy, on the roads. Chuck everything. The Chocolate Room was nearby. I rushed there and told the attendant in a resigned tone – Table for just one??
Sometimes, I just want to stop running. Yes, there is shopping to be done, things to be achieved, repair work to be done. You need to run against time, along with all the rushing people and get your work done. But for once, can I just stop and let everyone go ahead? Can I let my dreams wait?
I had my last day at work today. Was I sad? Was I relieved? Cannot pinpoint. I went through a mixture of feelings every nano-second.
Anger for my settled life getting disturbed.
Helplessness for getting flown with the current.
Panic for walking into unknown. For throwing away the good life I had in my hand.
Relief for being relieved of one big responsibility – job.
Bemused at not being able to judge whether all that is happening with me is good or bad.
Excited about a new life.
Hope of accomplishing my dreams; doing things I love; making new friends.
In the end, I felt nothing. Nothing.
When I said my Goodbyes and left from work, I was blank.
I still don’t feel I am no longer a part of this entity; this team. They have surrounded me since the last 3 years. My colleagues filled my days. Suddenly, there will be no one. A void is threatening to loom in front of me soon but I have turned my eyes away from it. I am acting like there is no void. And I will ignore it till it screams in front of me and finally wins my attention.
Ah. My Dark Hot Chocolate has arrived. The velvety dark brown froth, like warm brown eyes, is inviting me; asking me if I would like to be transported to heaven.
Care for what I said?