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Why I hate the cold.

I know. Its blasphemy to say this. In a tropical country like india, who doesn’t like the cold?

Well, I do. Because..

1. It is cold.

2. Cold gets in my brain, my bones and makes me totally inactive.

3. I start procrastination of important things like cleaning up the house, washing hair, face, etc.

4. Touching water is near death.

5. Walking out in the cold is a pain.

6. I can’t wear shorts / skirts / dresses.

7. And so I also cannot wear my gorgeous gladiator sandals.

Come, Summer. Where art thou??

A Cheery Sunday

A precious Sunday I am home after MONTHS.

I have been travelling and going home and haven’t spent a Sunday in Surat since as far as I can remember. I have a huge agenda for today and even though I crashed on my bed last night, really tired and dizzy, I get up energized in the morning today.

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One look at the view outside through my window tells me that it’s a fantastic day today and I am going to finish all the work, I kept aside for today, in a jiffy.

Packing for my upcoming Europe vacation and a photo shoot are planned for today.

What’s your agenda for today??!!

10 Day You Challenge: Ten Secrets

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I saw this interesting thing on Psych Babbler’s blog (a blog I quite like!) and thought why not take it up! It would make an exciting piece to write on. And given that its writing about your own self, would it be difficult?

So, here come my 10 secrets:

1. I am extremely emotional: This isn’t exactly a secret. I can cry with just an emotional thought, which needn’t even be a reality. I get upset quickly. I feel a lot and get hurt every now & then.

2. I daydream a lot: This isn’t new. I have been doing it since childhood. I tend to build stories in my mind, involving myself, mostly, visualize incidents and imagine crazy stuff generally. I am known to have a wild imagination and I am capable of imagining ridiculous, wacky and illogical stuff.

3. I am the jealous & possessive type: I get jealous so quickly! Of the girl having a better figure than mine, of the girl having a boyfriend and of the girl having shiny hair. Generally of everyone who has something that I don’t. I have some very special people in my life and hate to share them with others. They are MINE and ONLY mine. Rawwrrr!!

4. I can be a sadist: Whoa! Did I just say that? Since I am the jealous and possessive type, I do get some sense of contentment when I see a ‘rival’ in pain. Don’t misjudge me! I would never hurt anyone without any reason but those naughty green devils of jealousy keep playing pranks now and then.

5. I know more about people than they think they do: I observe. I overhear. I see and I hear. I don’t do these consciously. I just do. Subconsciously. And I realize I know a lot about people – their break-ups and affairs. Reasoning and attitude. Fears and behaviours. Nothing escapes my eye.

6. I have freckles: on my face and I totally hate them. But I refuse to go through any treatment to get rid of them.

7. I love collecting things: Pens, scarves, lotions, soft toys, craft items, gift wrappers, clothes, shoes, bags, earrings. I may not use them much later on. I may forget about them after the initial excitement of purchase. I may not even need them. But I want them. I want them around me.

8. I procrastinate a lot: I don’t know where my money goes. I am very lazy about doing important, boring stuff like filling forms, paying bills, collecting receipts and keeping track of my bank accounts, etc. Vital jobs like getting the car serviced, paying bills on time and purchasing necessary things often doesn’t appear on my to-do list.

9. I get nightmares almost every night: Maybe I am mentally disturbed or just hyper. I get bad dreams almost every night. Unknown people and places. I am either flying with no control over myself or I am running away from someone (someone I obviously don’t know). Dingy lanes and dirty walls. I often get up very disturbed and confused.

10. I am very stubborn: my parents have given up on me many, many years back because they know I will only do what’s been made up in my mind and nothing and no one can change it. I maybe fickle minded and may change choices quickly but only if I want to.

Errr. Did I just manage to come on some of yours hate lists?

 

Me & My Homes: Part 4–Moving To Baroda

My first reaction, on being informed that I need to move to Baroda, was ecstasy. I indeed was very happy about the possibility of staying in Baroda. Baroda happens to be a medium sized cosmopolitan city. It may not be a very rich place but it is intellectually and culturally advanced. I am quite familiar with Baroda and know what’s in store for me there. I will be able to wear whatever I want there; I needn’t worry about rowdy, rich spoilt brats giving flirty, raunchy looks to me everywhere in theatres and malls. I will get global non vegetarian food there. I will be able to take classes and attend workshops on various subjects. I can get lost in the various book stores there. Not to mention the old houses and walls spread throughout the city. I know Baroda is going to delight me.

Life will be good except the starting-from-all-over-scratch thing. I will have to go through the dreaded house hunting process. Get bare minimum but comfortable furniture. Get a trustworthy maid, probably the most challenging task. Get settled at the new office – new work station, new people, new surroundings. But overall, I looked forward to it.

While I was all excited about exploring a new city and learning new things there, the reality of leaving Surat and its bequests behind struck me. I will have to leave behind my friends, my dear colleagues and my house here. Ok, it is a company house but I made it my own by customizing it and making it look like a home, not just a house. What about the plants which I so lovingly grew and nourished all these months? What will happen to them? Who will take care of them? What about the origami butterflies? Do I take them / leave them back here? What about this little wax painting on my cupboard? And this doughnut that hangs on the mirror? Do I strip these walls of all my prized possessions and take them along with me or leave them around for the future occupant of my bed, who may or may not respect or like these?

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I remember how excited I was when I was about to shift to Surat. I was so eager to make friends and to stay at my own place. I am going through the same excitement right now – of seeing new things around me and making new friends. I am looking forward to getting a cute small apartment to myself which I can decorate with pictures of my family and colourful decorations. I am excited about setting up the kitchen and put up bright curtains up. I would love to have a bean bag and a swing too.

My movement has been stalled for some time as it is dependent on certain events which may happen soon or after couple of months. There always comes a point in life, relation or a place when you know that you are done with it. I guess, that’s what I feel about Surat now. I am done with it. However important this phase has been for me and how much ever I will want to come back to visit my current home later on, I am willing to try and explore a new city. And Baroda is totally worth it.

Rains – The way I look at it.

Though not a big fan of rains (if I have to go out in the rain), I think rains are beautiful. The make trees look greener, flowers look fresher and everything looks more colourful as if someone has given photo effects to the whole earth and made it’s colours more saturated.

Rain drops look beautiful on almost anything – flowers, leaves, railings, glass, roof, a child’s face. While driving by on NH-8, my heart smiled looking at the clean & bright views outside.

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I sometimes find rains depressing. I hate long, loud spells of rain. It scares me.

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Whenever it rains while I am at work, I look outside the wide glass window behind me and sigh – I wish I wasn’t at work right now, that’s what I think. I like the cool, fresh air that comes along with rain. Not to mention the fragrance of unsullied wet earth. I like the various forms and colour the fluffy clouds take up and I like the slow, musical sound rain drops make after rain has stopped.

I do not like the mess, humidity, insects and slush that rains brings with itself. I hate to get my feet wet while I am out. Imagine having to sit in an air conditioned offer with your feet and/or clothes wet!

Mountains are the best place to be during rains. Driving uphill, being surrounded by trees and cool winds is like being in heaven.

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(On way to Lonavala. All pics taken from the car)

It is September already. Rains will soon give way to winters. I know how much ever I despise going out in the rain, I will miss it.

Me & my homes – Part 2: Aurangabad

City 2: Aurangabad

Bombay to Aurangabad. My family & I were left in shock. Aurangabad turned out to be a stark contrast to Bombay. No wide, smooth roads. No sophisticated crowd. No flashy malls. No big cars. In their place, there were vulgar, drunk auto fellows, tumtums driven by rowdy 17 year old boys, badly dressed, fatigued people, dusty roads and dull buildings. I saw no colour there. But I was excited. I was about to start my independent life here. I stayed in a dirty hotel for one week. Luckily, I had 2 other batch mates to give me good company. I shifted into a hostel soon, which I quit after 2 months to live in a lavish PG accommodation. I ended up staying for 4 years in Aurangabad. I don’t know whether to thank the place for making me strong or curse it for giving me so many bitter experiences. After all, I learnt to deal with stalkers, drunkards, thieves, policemen, liars, obsessive fans and loneliness. I took on to the new city and workplace with full spirit.

I was so positive and enthusiastic that I failed to see the deficiencies of the places and how it was damaging me and my future. Every Sunday, I went out to the market and commercial area to shop. I shopped compulsorily (to pass time, mostly). I tried making friends but couldn’t. I just couldn’t find the right people. So, wherever I went, I went alone. I shopped alone and ate out alone. People gave me weird looks but I managed to deal with that. Dealing with vulgar, ill-mannered & low-class men, who sat at corners or outside small, dingy restaurants or along the roadside on their bikes, in groups, was difficult. It was a pain walking alone on the streets. I often felt all eyes on me. Rather, going through me.

To pass time, I also bought things to decorate my room, like pots to be painted, artificial flowers to decorate my room with and rangoli colours. I ended up using nothing, in the end.

When I was not avoiding stalkers and fans, I was working hard. I slogged. I worked 10 hours per day on an average. Not that I was a great performer. I was learning. I was given a huge responsibility, with no hand over my head, to protect and guide me. I faced lot of opposition and aversion from people (because, I concluded later on, that it was a smallish company of old-timers working there since its inception and they refused to accept an amateur girl in a prime position) and did not make friends at the workplace too. Barring one or two, whom I could trust. And when they left, and so did my first boss, my downfall in the company started. I couldn’t trust anyone in that organization – my juniors, seniors or colleagues.

I did quite some trekking and sightseeing in Aurangabad. Aurangabad is famous for the Daulatabad Fort, Ellora Caves, Biqi Ka Maqbara & Ajanta Caves. Aurangabad looks lovely during the rains and the drive upto Daulatabad Fort and Ellora Caves is brilliant. I have been there several times with friends and not-so-true-friends.

Probably my first and fourth year there was good in terms of having true friends around me. People drifted away after my first year, till I made new friends in my last year there. I remember how we watched each and every movie that came. (It’s worth mentioning here that till 2008, Aurangabad did not have decent theatres and we had to go to those shady theatres where a ticket costed Rs. 40. I think I didn’t see movies for a period of around 2-3 years, due to lack of good theatres and friends, till Fame & PVR opened multiplexes there. Not that the crowd was great there, but anyway). We had to bear with the Friday power cuts and had to spend time till 11:00 pm somehow. So, we had biryani at Char Minar Biryani, saw a movie at Fame and camped at CCD till 11:00 pm. I didn’t regret the power cuts with my friends around me.

I couldn’t get myself to trust anyone in Aurangabad. I somehow felt uncomfortable and conscious around them. As if they were judgemental and/or cunning and/or narrow minded and would harm me in some way. I didn’t know how to deal with them.

I was 22 when I started living in Aurangabad. I spent my formative years there. That place was supposed to shape my personality and help me find myself. Only, it didn’t really shape my personality as much as it left me deflated and weak. But yes, it did help me understand myself more. I started writing when I was in Aurangabad. I discovered my love for travel and hunger to know about the whole world then. I understood that I was not made for a corporate job and should be doing something creative. And I understood who my friends were.

By the time I realized that I should have been out of this place long ago, recession had set in. I, finally, quit my job and headed back home. I took on to job hunting as a full time job. I cut myself off from everyone at my workplace. I was not sure of who my friend was, who really liked me and whom I could contact. I left it at that and was surprised to find people come back to me. It was only after a month that I was able to see light ahead.

(Coming up: Surat..)